Letting Go of Expectations

Last summer, I lost quite a few photography opportunities because my family and I left our home in Costa Rica to visit our hometown in New York. Since July and August are quite popular traveling months for many families visiting Costa Rica, it wasn’t the most opportune time for me to be leaving. It was a 6 week trip and I told myself that next year, I would set expectations for my business, stay put in Costa Rica, and be available for all of those clients. Fast forward a year, and not only did I agree yet again to travel out of Costa Rica, but I agreed to do it for 3 months! This story is about letting go of expectations…

Now you can look at this from many different angles and see this as a blessing, a curse, or something in between. Writing this now I see how fortunate I am to have this flexibility. Initially, however, it wasn’t that clear to me. Bitterness clouded my vision. Each time I received an email from a potential client a feeling of resentment would seep through me. I would feel sorry for myself and not so surprisingly everything else around me seemed to be problematic too. You know what I mean?

The Universe Delivers What You Ask Of It

When we choose to feel unhappy and dissatisfied, the universe delivers exactly that. The house seemed more cluttered, the children seemed extra exasperating, and there was never enough time to get everything done. As Norman Vincent Peale puts it, “It is a pity, too, for there are so many problems created by life itself that dilute our happiness that it is indeed most foolish to distill further unhappiness within your own mind. How foolish to manufacture personal unhappiness to add to all the other difficulties over which you have little or no control! (The Power of Positive Thinking, 1952).

When I gave myself the ability to pause, look inward, and let go of expectations, I saw it all very differently. We have a lot more space in New York this year; I feel grateful that my kids love me so much and want to spend their time with me; and the things we think we need all this time for aren’t always that important in the end – they’ll get taken care of in due time.

After deciding we were spending all this time in New York, I posted on social groups advertising my photography services. If I was going to be missing all this work in Costa Rica, I was certainly going to make up for it in New York. Add to this mentality the feelings of worry and fear and guess what? I created my own recipe for disappointment. Suffice it to say, I didn’t receive many inquiries as these offerings were laced with negativity and doubt.

Coming Back Home

When this became clear to me, my initial thought was to “mentally backtrack” and put positive energy into these offerings (as I spoke about in my last post Manifest My Dream Life). And although that’s not a bad idea, something more alluring came to me. Do the spiritual work. Why did I have all these fears and worries to begin with? Something about coming back home seemed to multiply these feelings. So instead of manifesting more work for myself in terms of photography, I am choosing to do more work inwardly. Work through those old fears and stale habits. Read the books. Pray. Meditate. Talk positively about myself. About others. Think positively about myself. About others. Do things that scare me. By putting the positive energy into myself, rather than my photography services, I’m gaining the clarity needed for the success and abundance I’ve manifested for my future.

It’s been quite a freeing experience. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to come back home to edit; perhaps I was meant to come back to myself.